The “Dark Night of the Soul” first coined by St. John of the Cross happens to every serious seeker of the Soul. The sacred text of Bhagvad Gita came through when Arjuna went into this dark night while starting the battle, the well-known epic of Mahabharata. That’s when Krishna spoke about the true Yoga written down as the sacred texts of Bhagvad – Gita.
Every spiritual work mentions that a disciple, if making any progress will encounter this period of intense transformation and change, that at times will seek them to ask questions about every belief and systems that they had held dear. This period is not only intense, it is mostly long drawn, starting from a year to 14 years and more.
In Ramayana, this period lasted for Rama till 14 years. My Master said that a practice has to be done with whole heart & Soul for more than 10 years for the practice to come alive in us, we are not entitled to real change till then. Even after going through this intense period for 8 long years of the so-called dark night, including the 2 years of Womb period where I had two strong awakenings, I know that I’m not an expert on this because each one of us have different experiences with our dark night but the intensity and difficulty are at par and sometimes more than what I had gone through.
How is then the Dark Night of the Soul false?
The Dark Night isn’t false; and happens when one is moving to a higher hierarchy in the scheme of the Universe.
The whole Universal system is built on hierarchy but it doesn’t mean that some hierarchies are “lower” in the sense of 3D understanding and some are higher. Take for example the Angelic Realm. There are different types of cosmic Spirits here, the Spirits of nature, that are called Fairies, Gnomes etc., then the Angels who are Guardian Angels to the humans, then comes the Archangels and their community, Principalities, Powers, Virtues, Dominions, Thornes, Cherubim, Seraphim. This system doesn’t mean that Powers are more respected or revered than Principalities.
The hierarchy is one way based on the development of the Spirit, and there may be some others which I don’t know about but if you do, let me know.
My main aim here is to put this idea into real perspective, that even when we have the spark of the Supreme One in us, we still have many veils to uncover and tear apart. So, the dark night which we all are going through isn’t the Dark night of the Soul, but the Dark Night of the personality because our personality isn’t infused with our Soul.
If you want to know what really is Dark Night of the Soul, read about the crucifixion of Jesus. That’s what a dark night of the soul is all about. But we can’t not acknowledge our experience and so we can say that the Dark Night hits every individual differently. William Meader talks about this in more detail.
What is Dark Night of the Ego/Personality?
If you have been a genuine seeker, and want to grow as the soul that you are, your own Soul-power will try to strip you off of the defective veils which is our personality. We are not abandoned here, but at times we will feel that. Throughout this period, it was so tough, going through a depression, nobody really understanding you, and I am someone who listens to others’ problems, will lend a shoulder but will never talk about my own. Every aspect of my life was just not happening apart from my spiritual life.
But let me tell you, if your spiritual energy is really working your 3D reality will change, not in the same way as the others but the way you want it to. And that wasn’t happening for me, and it was equally frustrating because I was able to help do many realize their dreams, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I recall an incident very vividly. There was this relative of mine who had a fashion designing exam and since the morning of her exam her fingers were swollen and numb to the point that she wasn’t able to move them. In panic she called me and it took me 10 mins as a channel to heal her completely. She reported after attending and passing the exam how wonderful it has been. And then when I would do something for me everything will come to a halt. And I knew why it was happening as I was already shown the lifetime for which I was paying my karma and some limitations were so strong & stubborn in me that I had to endure them. The funny yet no-so-funny part was I had completely lost my personality and as I sit back today and write this it seems like a different lifetime.
Towards the end of this period my life was falling apart in such a way that’s indescribable. Doors closing on you for such a long time and even when there was success it was short-lived because someone would be there to mar it. Everything seemed to be closing me off from something I wanted and I wasn’t even clear what that was. I would seek freedom, and I didn’t know for what.
My dark night was lethal, in the sense that it made me a doormat personality without any conviction that I had earlier. From a go-getter person I turned into a wobbly, unhealthy, person always doubting my every move. And I didn’t even realize it till my dark night started coming to an end with my first awakening which was a small one and gave me no clarity. But it gave me the precious understanding when I heard myself-my Soul asking me what I was doing abusing myself in such a way. It was as if my whole life was played before me, and I was stunned to see what was happening. That ended my dark night but not the struggles. I kept struggling to come out of the situation without really “learning”. I had learned from my dark night but I wasn’t ready to use that learning in my life. So, the womb period continued till my next awakening which cleared my vision.
Not getting into details let me tell you, each dark night is different from one another, yours may last 1 or 2 years or more, someone else’s may last for 14 years and more like Avatar Rama, but the ultimate goal of the dark night always is to help us see our-self, our whole life in a new light.
Listen to the details 👇 and do share your experience.
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